A Southern Monster

When I first moved here to Tennessee I figured that there would be a few things that would take me a while to understand. Like what IS a Meat & 3 and why DO they sell Kerosene by the gallon at tiny little gas stations that have pumps so old that one can actually watch the numbers turn like an old odometer? But the most concerning one of all to me was that ever elusive and strange creature called a Bush Hog.

The first time I had heard of a Bush Hog a was pretty much scared out of my mind because all I knew is that I heard you would see them on the side of the road and in people's pastures and yards and I pretty much imagined them meaner than a wild boar in Alabama. I would walk up to the top of our hill terrified I would see a bush hog.

Then one day I even saw a caution sign on the back of a truck that said, "Bush Hog Ahead."



I mean how frightening is that that you can't even catch them or shoo them off because they are so mean...you just have to put WARNING signs out on the backs of trucks and on the side of the roads like that?!?! I had never heard of anyone ever shooting a Bush Hog either, so they must be some creature on the endangered species list. Either that or their hide is so tough that a bullet just bounces right off of it.

It didn't matter, I never wanted to come across one of those Bush Hogs although I never figured out what I would do if I ever did. Climb up a tree or jump in the creek or something. But everyone told me that one day, I would indeed come across a Bush Hog and when I did, I would just have to wait until it was safe to pass.

"How will I know when it's safe to pass one?" I asked.
"Oh you just know, sometimes someone is there to wave you by." was the reply.

Oh thank God! Hopefully when my turn came to experience the company of a Bush Hog there would be someone there to help me get passed it. Right after I locked all my car doors and told my kids to duck and cover, it would be safe to pass.

And then one fine day, I learned the truth...




...Bush Hogs are big mowers that trim not only grass but small trees and limbs.


Oh look! Here is someone now coming up upon this Bush Hog, that happened to be right in front of my house.


Safe to pass.

Carry on Bush Hoggers, carry on.